Breaking News: Google Acquires the Internet

April 15, 2007 by  

You may have heard that Google has acquired DoubleClick, an advertising company which also own the affiliate network/search agency Performic for $3.1 billion.

If you are an AdSense publisher or an AdWords advertiser, this acquisition will likely change the way how you make money in the future.

In addition to text ads, video ads, radio ads, TV ads, and so on, you’ll now have the ability to spread your advertising message to as many channels as you like and cover every nook and cranny of the Internet, provided that you have the money to do so.

At the same time, publishers will be able to monetize their content no matter what platform or website niche they manage.

OK, obviously those views are a little simplistic.

DoubleClick is the largest banner advertising network in the world and with the acquisition it seems Google is resurrecting this dying form of Internet advertising.

Phillipp Lenssen was quick enough to come up with a parody in response to the Google announcement.

In May 2017, will this happen?

MAY 12, 2017 – BUSINESSWIRE. Mountain View-based search giant Google Inc today announced they’ve acquired the internet for the astounding sum of $2,455.5 billion in cash. The deal had been rumored in various search blogs since the beginning of the year and was now confirmed by the company’s CEO. “This is in line with our vision to make information more accessible to end users,” says Eric Schmidt. “With the acquisition, we can increase the speed of indexing as everything will already be on our servers by the time it’s published.”

In a conference call earlier today, Larry Page explained the strategy behind the acquisition. “We realized it’s not very cost-effective to buy the internet in smaller portions.” During the past two decades, Google had acquired YouTube for $1.65, DoubleClick for $3.1 billion, AOL for $12.5 billion, and last year, Microsoft for the record sum of $120 billion.

No more worries about your Privacy Policy.

Accompanying Google’s acquisition revelation, privacy groups today released a paper criticizing the move. However, Larry Page argues that privacy is improved by Google’s acquisition, explaining that “[the] main privacy issues for users today are data leaks to third parties. By eliminating all third parties, we closed this hole.” Eric Schmidt adds that Google intends to replace their current privacy policy with a “privacy scale” which better balances necessary compromises. “When you can improve the privacy of a large group of people by violating the privacy rights of a small number of people, in the end this improves overall privacy.”

I would hate to see a future like that, where everything is controlled by one organization. As information is becoming more of a commodity, those who control it will hold the key that dictate the future of the world at large.

What am I talking…

I think it’s one of the funniest Google related, fake news release I’ve read and there a bit of truth in it.

Oh, btw this is probably how Google will look like in 2084. Scary…


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